Supporter Profile: Vanessa Hartounian
1: Describe yourself.
26 years old. Capricorn. Single.
2: What is your evaluation of the current state of politics in America.
Politics are so confusing. It seems like things aren’t going well, but really, it’s hard to tell without a graph. I’m pretty visually oriented and need at least a solidly put together puppet show to really grasp the events around me.
3: How did you first encounter Simpson/Hemstead?
They rear ended me in a parking lot and drove off without exchanging information. But fortunately I was able to scratch their license plate number into my right thigh with a cuticle nipper. The police tracked them down and I first met them face to face in small claims court 3 months later.
4: At what point did you realize you were “ready for a change”?
During their defense. Something about them I really connected with. The blonde one gesticulates a lot and the other one uses Star Wars action figures to recreate any situation he’s trying to convey. Very visual.
5: What is your voting history?
I’ve attempted to vote in four elections in my life. Only two were for president, one was for student council and one was a wet T-shirt contest at Jake’s Chowderhouse. Every time I was confused by lackluster choices and a thorough disregard for the democratic process amongst the candidates. That changed the day I met Simpson/Hemstead in small claims court.
They might have lost their case, but they won my vote.
6: Are you affiliated with any law enforcement agency?
I don’t think so. Can you explain what you mean?
7: How have you spread the word of Simpson/Hemstead to your peers?
I didn’t realize I was supposed to.
8: What office do you see Simpson/Hemstead fulfilling and why?
Hmmm… that’s a good question. I guess I really haven’t thought about it. What are we supposed to be voting for?
9: Are you on any prescription medications?
Why do you ask? Is there a maximum?
10: Would you be willing to pose nude for a fund raising, pro-Simpson/Hemstead calendar?
I thought that’s what those photos he took were for.