Supporter Profile: The “Deke”
1: Describe yourself.
I’m the heartland. Where real Americans live.
2: What is your evaluation of the current state of politics in America.
Bleeding out the ass.
3: How did you first encounter Simpson/Hemstead?
What is your problem? I don’t ‘encounter’ men. I’m not a gay queer or nothing. I only encounter women. Lots of them. I encountered a Chevy full just this last weekend on my way home from breakin’ up with my girlfriend.
4: At what point did you realize you were “ready for a change”?
I think it was when she started droppin hints that she wanted to get married. Tying knots is not something the Deke does. Sayonara baby.
5: What is your voting history?
Voted Bush in double ought. Voted Kerry in ought four.
I lost both times.
6: Are you affiliated with any law enforcement agency?
I’m a cop. Does that count?
7: How have you spread the word of Simpson/Hemstead to your peers?
i made some literature using Print Shop on my PC and pass it around at the station. Also I made a Vote Simpson/Hemstead beer cozy you can buy off of my website.
8: What office do you see Simpson/Hemstead fulfilling and why?
President. Wait, what are they running for?
9: Are you on any prescription medications?
Bud Lights and Advils.
10: Would you be willing to pose nude for a fund raising, pro-Simpson/Hemstead calendar?
Little Deke would wave his flag proud for these men. But that don’t make me queer. And also Little Deke ain’t little.