We find ourselves welcoming our first Canadian into our fold today.   Welcome Francois.  Welcome.  Now if you could just apply for citizenship, that would be dandy.

1:  Describe yourself.

36 years old from Ottowa.

2:  What is your evaluation of the current state of politics in America.

I just moved here three weeks ago to work in a copper mine up there in Montana,

So I don’t know a whole bunch about American politics other than your dollar

makes our dollar look pretty wicked, eh?

3:  How did you first encounter Simpson/Hemstead?

It would seem we share tastes in after-hours entertainment.  I encountered

Simpson hiding in a bush I was gonna hide in to watch this girl, Vanessa Hartooney-something

when she left the gym.  We ended up at a bar following a short jog away from a frantically sprayed

cloud of mace and met up with Hemstead.  They seemed like stand-up fellas.

4:  At what point did you realize you were “ready for a change”?

So we started drinking, right?  And while we were doing shots of liquid cocaine

I started seeing their point to having redundancy in your candidates.  ‘Cause you

see, for every 2 shots I did, each of them was only doing one.  That’s just smart

politics.

5:  What is your voting history?

Well, yeah, I’m from Canada.  I don’t know if my voting history counts.

I have read a butt-load of choose your own adventure books, and I gotta

say, I always slay the dragon and get the princess, if you know what I mean.

6:  Are you affiliated with any law enforcement agency?

I like to dress like a mountie, but no sir, I do not carry a badge.

7:  How have you spread the word of Simpson/Hemstead to your peers?

I called my friends back in Ottowa and told them to check out this website

‘cause you know, my picture is on it.  But yeah, I don’t know if that’s gonna help none.

8:  What office do you see Simpson/Hemstead fulfilling and why?

I don’t really think they’re smart enough to be president, but you know, vice-president or secretary of education or something maybe.

9:  Are you on any prescription medications?

Irish Whiskey.

10: Would you be willing to pose nude for a fund raising, pro-Simpson/Hemstead calendar?

Define nude.