Supporter Profile: Francois Thraubcauq
We find ourselves welcoming our first Canadian into our fold today. Welcome Francois. Welcome. Now if you could just apply for citizenship, that would be dandy.
1: Describe yourself.
36 years old from Ottowa.
2: What is your evaluation of the current state of politics in America.
I just moved here three weeks ago to work in a copper mine up there in Montana,
So I don’t know a whole bunch about American politics other than your dollar
makes our dollar look pretty wicked, eh?
3: How did you first encounter Simpson/Hemstead?
It would seem we share tastes in after-hours entertainment. I encountered
Simpson hiding in a bush I was gonna hide in to watch this girl, Vanessa Hartooney-something
when she left the gym. We ended up at a bar following a short jog away from a frantically sprayed
cloud of mace and met up with Hemstead. They seemed like stand-up fellas.
4: At what point did you realize you were “ready for a change”?
So we started drinking, right? And while we were doing shots of liquid cocaine
I started seeing their point to having redundancy in your candidates. ‘Cause you
see, for every 2 shots I did, each of them was only doing one. That’s just smart
5: What is your voting history?
Well, yeah, I’m from Canada. I don’t know if my voting history counts.
I have read a butt-load of choose your own adventure books, and I gotta
say, I always slay the dragon and get the princess, if you know what I mean.
6: Are you affiliated with any law enforcement agency?
I like to dress like a mountie, but no sir, I do not carry a badge.
7: How have you spread the word of Simpson/Hemstead to your peers?
I called my friends back in Ottowa and told them to check out this website
‘cause you know, my picture is on it. But yeah, I don’t know if that’s gonna help none.
8: What office do you see Simpson/Hemstead fulfilling and why?
I don’t really think they’re smart enough to be president, but you know, vice-president or secretary of education or something maybe.
9: Are you on any prescription medications?
10: Would you be willing to pose nude for a fund raising, pro-Simpson/Hemstead calendar?