I figured that would be a bitchin’ headline you’d HAVE to click on.  I was right!  Yet another reason to Vote Simpson/Hemstead; we understand the wants of the people.

For instance, last week I noticed that people wanted us to post things for them to read.  That simple act increased traffic to the site, and hopefully satiated the appetites of those who would read.   Then we learned that there were certain things you wanted to see over others.

A child murdering a giant, mutant turkey on Thanksgiving was a big winner.

Even the turkey referred two friends

Conversely, cute, fluffy and alive animals didn’t score as well.

Where are your souls people?

We’ve absorbed that information and we’ve been preparing a multi-million dollar custom built killing floor just to feed your seemingly insatiable bloodlusts.  But then something strange happened:  Yesterday I was whining about Facebook.   votesimpsonhemstead.com posted the biggest hit count we’ve ever seen.  On a saturday, traditionally not a heavy Facebooking day for many of you who have wives, children, alimony, mistresses, yardwork, peeping, or some other such desecrations to do with your time.

We hear you, supporters, PEOPLE LOVE WHINING!!

Arrows don't know how to lie.

And thank JesuAllaFasa they do, because we are so good at it.  Don’t worry friends, we will whine until our throats are sore for you, but to whine, we need enemies.

It’s a classic tactic of warfare that, when grossly outnumbered, out mechanized, and out supplied, the smaller army resorts to guerilla combat tactics.  Hit and fades, dirty pool, and using the enemy’s infrastructure against it.

Yesterday, Simpson/Hemstead declared war on the Facebooks as we discussed earlier.  Well, okay, we didn’t really declare anything, we mostly just whined a lot and then aired grievances against primary school bullies.  But in Simpson/Hemstead’s universe that’s EXACTLY like declaring war.

and this is exactly like breaking up

So we must use Facebook against itself.  Take down the beast by using the beast.   Let’s go back to that stat again…  We posted the highest traffic ever by bitching about facebook.  But where did all that traffic come from?

Sun Tzu just got a little nerd-wood.

That’s right.  Facebook was our top referrer.  Stickin’ it to the man, that’s the Simpson/Hemstead way.

Begun this Whine War has.

Whine War.  Not to be confused with the Wine War of 2008.

The Wine War ended about 3 hours after it started with an impromptu nap.