Even More Shopping!!!

Simpson/Hemstead has spent the last three months polling the hell out of anyone who would speak to them,  investment bankers, visual effects artists, high school girls, that gap-toothed bum woman on La Brea, and of course the uncool tranny chick with a dick, and we’ve found out what we’ve been missing in our online store.  We’re proud to say that we’ve finally fixed this problem.

Let’s say you’re out with the girls, and you want to be casual.  You know, you don’t want to throw the “Hey check out my rack,” vibe right out of the gate, and it’s only casual 6pm drinks after work, so your “always works” short dress and 3/4 pound of whore paint you use on the weekends just wouldn’t be appropriate.  However, you don’t want to limit yourself to another night watching Big Bang Theory reruns by yourself (possibly with a cat or 17), stuffing a tub of Ben and Jerry’s down your unpainted maw and wondering why you suddenly find Sheldon on your “he’ll do” list.  Well, that’s where Simpson/Hemstead comes in.

Let me introduce you to our newest section, coyly titled “Maybe…

Finally a way to keep your honor, but still cut through the chase.  Let’s face it, dating is hard, meeting people is harder; especially when that good looking guy across the bar with the 8 pack abs, and smoldering smile also has that “I want to pet the rabbits George,” fog behind his eyes.   This is the perfect shirt for the casual encounter, just open up your jacket a button or two, and let the possibilities fly.

Wear it under your blouse at work, at the gym, the supermarket, planned parenthood, tea party rallies, high schools, colleges, Al Anon meetings, Pee-Wee Soccer games, BBQs, Therapy sessions, etc…  This shirt works in EVERY situation.*

Go buy one today.  Buy two.

*not intended for men’s correctional facilities.

About boomoy

Making the world unsafe for dumbocracy

Posted on April 25, 2011, in shameless promotion/whoring, The Econonomy and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I keep thinking that “maybe” is:

    …flipping me off
    …happy to see me
    …spelled with a 6


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