What is a hay hemorrhoid?

Can hay get hemorrhoids?

We asked the ScienceWerks and they said hemorrhoids are vascular bodies along the anus that assist the excretory system with stool control that become a real pain in the ass when irritated. They told us, through a number of slides and graphs that made us giggle, that hay has neither the proper vascular system, nor a systemic excretory system to facilitate a need for hemorrhoidal structures.

So no, you may not have hay hemorrhoids. But “vascular structures that assist the excretory system with stool control that become a real pain in the ass when irritated” sounds a lot like something the current political system could use, so yes! We will be your political hemorrhoids America.

Now let’s keep your shit under control before you irritate us.