The Simpson/Hemstead Philosophy

We don’t believe in the idea of telling America what’s wrong with it.  America knows.  We’re not going to pretend we know how to fix it.  We haven’t got a clue.  But we suspect that working together, America knows how to heal her wounds.   America’s been brutalized by her leaders, felt up like a sorority girl passed out in her mini-skirt on a pile of discount knock-off coats and bags by a boozed up football player everyone calls “Chunk.”

But America is better than a cheap feel at a kegger, she deserves leaders who will rub her shoulders after she gets out of the shower and who doesn’t ever think her ass looks fat in white pants.  America is a prom queen, and she deserves to be treated like one.  We promise to touch America appropriately, and with full consent of her family.

Simpson/Hemstead stands for a change to the status quo.  Honesty is gone from politics.  Trust in politics is  as mythical a word as “unicorns”, “werewolves” or “Canadians.”  That will never happen with Simpson/Hemstead.  We might not be perfect, but you’ll never hear us claim to be.  We will never lie to you, America.  We’ll take responsibility for our pasts and own up to any misdeeds or poor choices we’ve made.

We think public servants should serve the public, not serve their own selfish needs.  We think the people should have a say in how they are governed beyond the day they pull a lever in a voting booth.  We’re not going to tell you what’s wrong.  We’re not going to tell you how to fix it.  Hell, we’re not even going to tell you what we’re running for.  These are all the things America needs to tell us.  How can we best serve you?  How can we make America more your home and homes for all Americans?  We’ll leave the thinking to you, you leave the doing to us.

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