Category Archives: Smoking Things

Damn Nature, You Soulful!

First of all, meet this thing:

It's like the thing that eats nightmares and then has gas; nightmare gas.

This is the kind of creature that lives crowded around a hydrothermal vent; those black smokey things erupting from the sea bed along fault lines, where magma boils up to the surface and mixes with seawater.   Needless to say, it’s a rough neighborhood, and you’d think that it might explain why my eyeless little friend here has such a horrific set of chompers, and it’s ready to strike.  But the ScienceWerks thinks different.

When we presented this image to the ScienceWerks they poured over scientific journals and annals and all sorts of things with more words than pictures and they came back with an astounding hypothesis:  This creature isn’t angry, nor willing to strike at anyone; this a blind soul artist and this photo was taken as a publicity still for his upcoming album, “I Got A Wormen“.  That’s right, he’s a subaquatic extremophile version of Ray Charles.

If Ray Charles were alive to see this post he'd roll over in his grave.

So don’t fear our polyp-faced friend with the mouth full of microscopic shark teeth, for all we know that’s sexy in the world of hydrothermal music, not unlike a blinged out grill.  But if you’re still having a problem seeing him as anything other than a horrifying monster out to kill us all, ScienceWerks has prepared a graphic to help you relate to our new little friend as a cheerful smiling entertainer:

"I Got a Wormen" available on iTunes in September.

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