Blog Archives

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Southern California awoke to a 4.4m earthquake this morning to start off St. Patrick’s Day with some wobbly legs.  The quake was centered 7km north/northwest of Westwood (Home of the Bruins) and lasted about 10-15 seconds.  Very little damage has been reported at this time, mostly just knocked over brooms and pictures falling off walls.  CalTech has shown the shake map as follows:

intensityAs earthquakes go, not so bad.

We’ve had the ScienceWerks pouring over the shake data from Cal Tech all morning to discern a possible cause for this temblor.  While it’s too early to draw any conclusions as of yet, one ScienceWerksineer was quoted as saying on condition of anonymity, “Look it’s St. Patrick’s Day.  Personally I think this is just California celebrating our nation’s long and racist history of posting ‘Irish Need Not Apply’ signs by trying to shake the little drunken leprechauns off her back while they’re tipsy.”*

All of the Irish we’ve interviewed since the temblor have unanimously said, “Earth-what now?  Didn’t feel it.”



Happy St.  Patrick’s Day to the Irish and Non-Irish alike from Simpson/Hemstead.  Have fun, and above all be safe.

To learn more about the small recent California Earthquake, visit the USGS website.

To learn more about the history of St. Patrick visit Wikipedia.

To learn more about the U.S.’s muddy history of Irish tolerance visit this blog on Historical Myths.

*The views toward the Irish expressed by the unnamed ScienceWerksineer  do not necessarily reflect the views of Simpson/Hemstead, the United States of Adamerica, or good and decent folk around the world.


Welcome to Earf (quake)

In the last 15 minutes the Simpson/Hemstead Facebook page was alight with activity.  It appears our east coasters (mostly conveniently positioned around the Washington D.C. area for keggers upon Simpson/Hemstead’s inevitable election victory) are experiencing something they’re unfamiliar with:  Earthquake.

a 5.9 earthquake just rumbled it’s way through the East Coast and man, supports on the not-left side of the country just don’t know what to do.  See, being from California we do a lot of “woohooo”ing when an earthquake rolls into town (unless it’s one of those nasty dickhole earthquakes like San Fran or the ’94 Northridge quake.  We’re used to them, we use them as excuses to get out of our chairs at work and go talk to one another and start guessing amplitude.

East Coasters freak their shit out a little.  This is either a confused group of people or there was a fire sale on question marks at Staples:

Oh the Humanity (Like) (Comment)

I’m happy that all our supporters have come through the quake without incident.  I hope that damage is light, I know you guys don’t really think about those very often.  We’ll do our best to keep them on our coast, you guys keep your damned winter blizzard things.

Sorry we let that one slip by…

%d bloggers like this: