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Certain Immutable Facts and Also Things You Might Not Have Known

  1. Republican and Democrat do not traditionally mean or stand for what you think; I am speaking to members of Congress as much as I am the layman.
  2. It’s the heart of self-defeatism to, in the face of economic collapse stand by a party line first for a short-term gain, rather than by your nation for a long term survival.  I am speaking to the members of Congress as much as I am the layman.
  3. Immutable is a fun word.
  4. Testosterone makes hair fall out of men’s heads.
  5. If you leave a highball glass of milk sitting on my nightstand for the span of 10 hours during summer, it’s hot enough in my bedroom to curdle the milk into a solid cylinder.
  6. Richard Nixon was a socially progressive president, and good friend of John F. Kennedy.
  7. I’m double jointed in my left thumb.
  8. The kids on Jersey Shore that you like to make fun of for being so trashy and selfish and bankrupt as human beings have made more money since that show began than you will ever see in your life.  They’ve made this money because you operate under the assumption that they are inferior to you and exist for your distraction and amusement, not unlike an emperor guffawing at the exploits of his jester or fool.  However in this case the fool has power and wealth, and the emperors are fighting to avoid foreclosure.
  9. Bisquick is NOT “making pancakes from scratch.”
  10. 20 year reunions are hilarious, informative, and seasoned with a hair of schadenfreude if you know where to look.

20 Years Ago Quite Recently

I graduated high school twenty years ago this year, which means that I have a 20 year reunion coming up in August.   It’s an interesting feeling, the idea of seeing those people again.  But then I’m struck by a thought; I didn’t see most of those people IN high school.

It wasn’t a horribly large high school by today’s standards: roughly 3400 total student, 637ish seniors, but it was sizable and swelling at the seams.  One entire baseball diamond had already been converted to blacktop to hold a dozen barracks-style portables and even those were beginning to get full.  But that’s not really the reason I didn’t talk with most of my graduating class, or at least I don’t think it was.

Either way,  I spent a lot of time with the band.  Marching, Orchestra, Symphonic, you name it; thems wuz my peeps.

It's like a reverse Mormon polygamist home... but with a jam band.

We weren’t as age clique intensive as some of the other activities.  I’m good friend with 7 years of graduates, ranging from the class of 88 through the class of 94.  Those are the people I spent trips with, went on overnighters with, spent countless hours trapped in busses with.  Even the people I learned to change into our marching uniforms with while avoiding getting a 14 year old chubby from all the girls in their underwear around me.

I look through the photos on the website of people now, hoping for a clue as to who they are and I find myself even more confused than before.  Not only did I not talk to these people when I was in high school, but everyone looks freaking different now and half of them have different last names.

I mean seriously, back in high school I looked like this:

I'm the one with my pants on my head.

Look at me, just a raving jackass of 17 years old.  Ready to do anything for a laugh, with a vaguely glassy and somewhat stupid look in my eye.

But that was 20 years ago.  I’m 37 now.  I’m a grown man.  I look like this:

Okay, maybe I'm a bad example

Well anyway I suspect a great deal of the evening will be spent saying, “Who the f$ck are you,” while handing out Vote Simpson/Hemstead propaganda.

Yes, you’re Goddamned right I’m bringing buttons and stickers and shirts.

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