Blog Archives

Nike BTTF Shoes

Welcome Google travelers who want God-Awful ugly movie shoes!  Our humble blog post about the Nike Mags being auctioned for charity has become the number 2 Google Image Search result for “Back To The Future Shoes” in Google.

Here’s it’s right here….

Yup, just linked back to Google’s link to our page…  kinda curious to see what happens now, I might create an infinite loop.

So welcome ugly shoe enthusiast.  Believe me, Simpson/Hemstead is right there with you….

We haven’t generated this kind of traffic since James Urbaniak gave a dramatic reading to Rebecca Black’s Friday….

 

James, come back, we miss you buddy.  And we miss the traffic.  Also, can I have an autograph?  On a Rebecca Black photo?  And would you like to come over to watch Ghostbusters in the backyard in a couple weeks while we all carve pumpkins?

Back to the Future Shoes

Nike has released them, replicas of the Mag, Self-Lacing shoes that Marty McFly wore in Back to the Future II.

Every day Nike will be auctioning off these shoes, with proceeds going to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s research.

Sure they’re priced out of the average person’s hands without selling children into slavery, but dammit… wouldn’t it be cool to see America’s candidates (That’s us) sporting flashy shoes?  You betcha it would.

Goddamned shoes look so horrible. I have to have them.

And for those of you who don’t know what the disease really is about, Parkinson’s Disease is about far more than a chronic and uncontrollable case of the Electric Boogaloo.  Parkinson’s degenerates the whole brain and causes amongst other things, dementia, inability to speak, and eventual death.  It’s often overlooked for it’s admittedly humorous body tics, but it’s a horribly destructive disease.

As a bit of backstory, Dad had stage 1 Parkinson’s that only affected his right hand for several years before it spread.  He’d often try to hide the uncontrollably shaky forearm under the table at restaurants, or in his pocket full of change in theaters.   The only problems were, not only did he sound like Santa Claus, but a man with a feverishly shaking arm in his lap under a table at a restaurant looks… well it looks bad.  And not just a little bad, it looks “call the police” bad.

Like this, but you know, creepier.

I’d often times tell him he should get a job at Home Depot as a paint mixer or working as a bartender mixing cocktails.  I’m glad my father had enough of a sense of humor to not rear that wiggly fist up at me and take a swing, but at the same time I would have been glad for the story of getting the shit kicked out of me by a Parkie.

In the end, along with his cancers, the Parkinson’s did him in.  He was unable to eat, unable to stand, and unable to talk.  The medication cocktail, primarily SinimetCR, was no longer effective.  What you come to realize is that medication is often the source of the previously hilarious body movements.  But the body builds up a tolerance, and it builds up fast.  Soon the medication, even in heroic doses becomes ineffective.  Without it, the body goes rigid.  He was a twitching, shivering, rigid man gnarled into a fetal position.

Go watch Awakenings, the part toward the end where Robert DeNiro starts developing a tolerance to the L-Dopa, even though that film deals with patients who suffered from an encephalitic fever in their childhood, the condition is often compared to Parkinson’s in the film, and it’s very accurate.

If you have the means to bid on these shoes, do it.  It’s for a wonderful cause.

And just a reminder as to what Parkinson’s looks like before it becomes unlivable:

Thanks to Michael J. Fox for his continued efforts in the fight against Parkinson’s disease, and to Nike for helping us all geek out for a good cause.

I promise posts will get funnier again.  I’ve got some great Corporate Lackey Wolverine shit I’ve uncovered.  And the presidential primaries are gearing up, you KNOW that’s gonna be a good time around here.

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: