Blog Archives


If you’ve been holding off buying a light colored Simpson/Hemstead t-shirt then today is your lucky day!  Today only (ends at midnight) cafepress is reducing price of white or light colored shirts to 15 dollars!  That’s the price of a Grande Macchiato with a squirt of every syrup Starbucks has.*

So click on the store here and pick up a shirt, you could find yourself boasting these beautiful slogans:

Groping costs extra

And it's a quick "meh"

Get to the point, the bi-partisan point.


when you do buy one or all of them, send us a picture of you in them outside somewhere, showing you have no shame.


Humane Treatment Of Middle Class Ironic America

Simpson/Hemstead rolls out it’s organically-grown, humane treatment of animals line today with this hum-dinger of a shirt.

Click Here:

Show the bar patron next to you how up with the times you are with animal rights by flashing this little baby across your chest, or your newborn’s infant jumpsuit.  You care how people are brought up, let Simpson/Hemstead express how…

Groping costs extra







Simpson/Hemstead Shirt Spotted In the Wild!!!

See?  People ARE wearing the merchandise!  You gotta have it.  If you need a shirt that says, “I might be a pickpocket or a loose woman, or possibly even a street taco vendor selling his wares,” then baby, we’ve got you covered!

Sure, it’s supposed to mean, “Look at Simpson/Hemstead, do you see anything you like?  Because if so you should vote for us,” but when our t-shirt printer guy person told us how much that would be, we opted to shorten it.  As a result our shirt (and presumably campaign as well) has become popular with prostitutes, car salesmen, yacht enthusiasts, and for some reason paralegals.  But that doesn’t mean you have to miss out if you’re not one of those highly elite supporters!

Our shirts are printed on 100% authentic t-shirt made in a factory somewhere by someone.  I don’t know who, but really, do you care?  It’s a shirt.  You can’t walk around naked (yet*) so you gotta wear something.

Order yours today and within one week you can be coyly asking the world, See anything you like, sailor?

Pictured: Yacht Enthusiast

*Vote Simpson/Hemstead:  We promise to make the Let Your Freak Flag Fly Act of 2012 be our top priority….

%d bloggers like this: