Corporate Lackey Wolverine, the official coffee shop superhero of the Simpson/Hemstead campaign has been missing for weeks. I had not wanted to report it to you because I did not want widespread panic that our resident paunchy coffee shop entrepreneur superhero is AWOL, and as a potential world leader I can say I was scared.
But then, last weekend while I was out at a Starbucks stalking our Snorg Tees girl I saw something that tickled the cockles of my heart and made me question the whole incognito superhero vibe. No, it wasn’t Corporate Lackey Wolverine, it was something possibly better…
There’s a whole goddamned network of superheroes hanging out in coffee shops with WAAAY to much office equipment waiting for the world to come to an end, or a kitten to get stuck in a tree. Maybe it was time for CLW to move to another district and GSDRF (I gotta work on his acronym) is covering L.A. now. I guess maybe that makes sense, keep them fresh and not bored by moving them around regularly like ride operators at Disneyland.
This is great!!! I actually might get the first good night of sleep I’ve had in weeks since CLW disappeared. It does make me wonder how complex this network is.
Dear supporters, if you see someone at a coffee shop with WAY too much office equipment camped out with far too much bored familiarity, SEND ME A PHOTO! Let’s see who the hell is out there!
EDIT: I changed the date in the headline because it was confusing people and we were beginning to have War Of The Worlds style hysteria happening in the streets. Sorry folks.
He was there again! Look at him! CLW! He’s changing his look some, he’s grown his hair out, and the toll of fighting internet startup company problems has put more grey in his hair, but it’s definitely him. the laptop, the large boxes, and now the full size office printer. That’s right, CLW now has a full printer set up in the middle of a Starbucks. He is truly the working class superhero!
For a time I had speculated that he might be homeless, which would suck. But that also shows such great initiative to succeed that he’s set up shop in a Starbucks. But he smells so nice, is always freshly showered looking and has no signs of meth teeth.
No, CLW is an enigma; and he’s the kind of enigma we want on Simpson/Hemstead’s team.