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Cookie Thoughts

Facebook, despite it’s many faults, is a wonderful catalogue of all the poor life choices your friends and family have made with pride.  Haircuts, political leanings, clothing options, meal choices, significant others, medical opinions, decisions to run a failing political campaign for 14 years – all of it proudly displayed by the perpetrators themselves.

That’s a helluva thing.


Improvising Adulting

Person on the street:  You look like you’re in your 40’s.  At this point in life is a man wearing graphic tees to work like a woman your age shopping at Forever 21?
Simpson:  I’ll have you know I wear graphic tees to work so that I can be confident that I’ve not put on my shirt inside out or backwards during my morning flurry to get ready. If I can see a cartoon, I’m ready to take on the world. They’re grown-up Garanimals.

“Presidential Nominees Engage In Twitter Fight.”

Social Media Civility

My Ultimate Form

Here’s a thing about me:

I pee a lot when I’m stressed.
I pee a lot when I drink coffee.
I drink a lot of coffee when I’m stressed.

One very bad day, these traits will reach a singularity, my conscious mind will go in stasis, and I’ll become an entity that only exists as an uncontrollable and constant urea vector.

That should be a fun day.

Facebook Today

The Almighty Facebok desperately wants me to be friends with all the Kardashians today.  Facebok is going to lose this battle, methinks.



The Devil Went Down To Georgia

Am I the only one that thought this song was a vague cautionary tale about  chronic masturbation?

“Johnny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, for Hell’s broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals the cards.”


No?  so that was just me?  Okay, well then this has gotten awkward.  Here’s the muppets to try to cleanse ourselves of this whole thing…

Slow Month

Friends, supporters, well-wishers, errant web-travelers, and even Nixonian Enemies;  July was a rather busy month around the day job, what with stuff needing to be done.  Simpson/Hemstead is not gone, nor have we abandoned our pursuit of the White House or even a cracking fat free brownie.

This week we will begin rolling out more content.  Thanks for your patience.  Okay, go do shit now to keep yourself occupied until we get back.

Sane Up Front, Crazy In The Back

Today’s top searches:

Top Searches

vote simpson hemstead, female firing squad,

wolverine dressed like girl, maria esperanza watkins,

mein kampf original

I’m just worried if someone out there is wanting to put Simpson/Hemstead in front of an all female firing squad.

But then again…. hot.


Welcome Web Surfers

Welcome to all of you who have searched for congressional staffer Maria Esperanza Watkins, and found yourself here.   For those of you searching for her in conjunction with the search term “Scott Leberecht’s girlfriend” today, I can assure you that the two are not dating.

Not sure how these rumors start.  But anyone interested in applying for the job of Scott Leberecht’s girlfriend can comment below.

I promise I’ll stop bitching about the price of trash cans shortly and get back to proper politicking.

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